What Dreams May Come
Just finished watching this rented DVD called "What Dreams May Come" by Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Annabella Sciorra. It was so touching that I cried somewhere in the middle, and then at the end. The plot as follows:
For Chris Neilson (Robin Williams), his love for his wife Annie (Annabella Sciorra) is limitless. After his untimely death, Chris delights in the knowledge that heaven for him is existing within one of Annie's magnificent paintings.
Yet despite this paradise, Chris feels unfulfilled without his wife, and on earth, Annie cannot endure life without Chris so she attempts to join him.
Chris is advised of Annie's death, but there is no hope of them being reunited, as 'suicides go to hell'. Undeterred, he enlists the wisdom of the Tracker (Max Von Sydow) and Albert (Cuba Gooding Jr.), embarking on an epic odyssey through heaven and hell to free Annie.
Most of us know that in reality, it is rare that love can be 'limitless' and carries on forever, and even after you've died, your love carries on in heaven. Such movie can make you feel that perhaps that is not really the case after all. As you get sucked into the movie, you feel like perhaps in some corner of the world, there is still a pair of very loving couple whose love is still going strong, despite that they are already in their 80s. Who knows, unless you have been through life after death, that couples reunite even after they left this world, just to continue their love before being reborn. And what love could be greater than promising to be lovers again in their next life, and become couples again after being reborn? That feeling is just so astounding yet still leaves a trail of sadness with it.
Another movie I'm gonna be watching next would be "Big Fish". I know it's a fantastic movie, so I can't wait to see it. Luckily there's something called "Renting DVDs" which entitles you to watch back the movies you missed before at the comfort of your own home.
***************************************************************
Thanks to Suya, who gave me so many great advises when I lazed at her house on Sunday night, after we went for dinner at Chom Chom. After returning to Melbourne, Yongshan misses Uncle Wong who works in the kitchen, so she decided to have dinner at our old workplace and see him. But too bad, it seems that Uncle Wong took half a day off, but she phoned him anyway. Chris, Yongshan and I wore black T-shirts to Chom Chom, unrehearsed, and Adrian was making fun of us that we were there to work instead of merely having dinner. It was great seeing Adrian again! He looked so much more matured after his summer holidays! Spotting a slight tan, and growing a wee bit chubbier, he definitely doesn't look like he's just 20 years old... (wait! or is he 19?? I think he JUST turned 19 late 2007). Anyway, I had my usual fish noodle soup.
Just talking about fish noodle soup makes me go "bleah". Why? I think I failed to realise that I am indeed a slow-eater, and I am always the last to finish a meal with anyone, and everyone. On top of that, I am presented with a boiling hot SOUPY noodles, which I always find tormenting to eat it when it's just being brought over to me. I need the soup to cool down a little first before I can really eat them without all the blowing. I am renowned in Chom Chom for taking 1 hour (at least) to finish up the whole bowl of soup. And this 'fame' has carried on up 'til TODAY when I am no longer working there, and everyone (including new staff) knows about it. The moment the order's out, the chefs know the fish noodle soup is for me. And whilst I was eating, all the waitresses whom I have no idea WHO they are, kept coming pass our table, and then reporting to Ed, "Your gf eats really slow leh!" -__-;;; Well, that was according to Ed... I felt so embarrassed! I mean, I know it's just playing around, but then, is that something to feel 'honoured' about? I don't think so.
However, that night, I felt really sweet with a simple gesture, even if he might not have really intended it that way. My friends told me they felt the care and sweetness he has dispersed. Ed brought 4 drinks for us, complimentary. However, when he carried the 4 drinks for us, he specially shifted my favorite Ice Longan out and moved it towards where I was sitting, whereas the other drinks were still 'piled' at the side of the table when he left. Everyone was like "Whoa... so nice to you only!"... and the other drinks were just Iced chengteng and Grass Jelly, up to the rest to choose whatever they want, but the Iced Longan was specially for me. I admit I was touched then and the sweetness shot through me like I've been injected with some ecstasy-equivalent drug. And when we went home together we finally held hands... I wished I stayed in that moment forever.... and ever.....
Anyway, back to the topic on how Suya talked to me about my relationship, and gave me advices which helped. It started with me telling her my feelings about being Ed's gf. I got this sudden feeling when I was eating, that the waitresses there might ask him, "So which one is your gf??" (and yes they DID ask, and they were asked to guess) And when they know it's me, they might even be thinking "Huh... I think he can do better than that!" I don't know why I was suddenly seized with this thinking that I am ugly, and not to say, quite fat. Probably in most people's eyes, I am not a 'gf-material'. It's as if I have this towel tied over my forehead with big, bold capital letters screaming: "THE MOST IMPERFECT GIRL EVER ON EARTH!"... I lack that aspect of confidence, and I hated myself for it. Suya and Yongshan wondered why I felt that way, so that's how I told them my story.
Having gone through a painful breakup just a few months ago, Suya has grown up and became wiser and more matured... at least in the relationship aspect. For all the problems that I viewed as 'problems', she told me in a way that it isn't supposed to be problems anymore. She told me to give him some space and privacy that he deserves. She told me, he is supposed to be a part of my life, but just A PART of it. Not the WHOLE of it. She said not to occupy my thoughts and every minute of my life (other than when I'm working or sleeping) thinking about him, or anything related to him. Furthermore, I mustn't, BECAUSE I care so much for him, be too sensitive and take things he does/says too personally... 'cuz if I did, I will only be more upset when many things he has said/done doesn't really mean the way I thought it is. If it's nothing, then it's nothing. There needs to be trust, until the day he chose to betray that trust. But that is for the later date, which no one hope will happen. Lastly, she advised me to savour every moment I can in this relationship while it last, and try not to demand too much out of him.
Of all the things she has said, I thought they were pretty true. The reason why I am convinced is because she viewed things from his side, plus MY side, and knows why I am like feeling the way I do, and why he is behaving the way he did. No one's wrong, no one's right. No one's bad, no one's good. However, I need to come to terms with my ultra-sensitive nature, plus my immaturity when it comes to handling relationships. Inexperienced as I might be, I need to tell myself that I mustn't be too stubborn and too persistent with my way of thinking, because they might not always be right.
It is difficult to always convince myself when I encounter with some behaviour of his that I never could stand that "it is alright, it is OK"... I tried to calm myself several times today with that thinking, but it's only just for the day. How long would I last? I have no idea. But I got to try... As Suya has said, if he feels that I am pressing him too hard, and he feels suffocated, he will turn away from me and keep a further distance. Perhaps that could explain why he was cold to me? So if I try, would things be better?
Suya told me something regarding the girl that Ed used to like so much. Despite myself being somewhat bothered by her existence (even though that does not mean I dislike her or anything... I still treat her as my friend), Suya told me a different perspective she saw in the girl. She liked this girl because she has lots of confidence in herself, and she led her life carefree and full of life and colour. Perhaps it was this aura that she has spread makes guys fall in love with her? Maybe aside from all the beauty and being someone of 'wife-quality', plus having a good figure and brains, confidence is another important aspect that guys dig? It might be true I seriously lack in my own confidence. Friends have told me long ago that I need to boost up my confidence, and I never really did succeed doing so. On top of that, living a fulfilling life might also mean that you have more things to care about other than your BGR problems. I truly believe in that though. When your life is more colorful, it balances out all aspects of life, and you get fulfillment and satisfaction easier than ever. Mom has told me that so many times too, and sometimes I just cannot deny that Moms are damn wise and can be right most of the time even if you would like to tell yourself otherwise.
There are lots of thinking and changes I need to make for myself in order to make this relationship work without me or him suffering too much. At this point, I know it's still me loving him more (though I know he does care a lot for me too), but we know there is never a balance in a relationship. There is bound to be one party who loves and gives more than the other party. However, I don't think it's an issue to fret about because who knows a couple of years down the road when we are tied down with something else, e.g. our careers, we slowly lose all the focus on our love, and then that's when the balance might somewhat be bridged, because by then your partner might love you a little more than you love him? Guys sometimes are really hard to understand. They like it when they are made to feel very important in the girl's life, yet, they chose to be oblivious and ignores her all the time. Until the day the opposite happens, they started to try their best to win the girl's attention back again. Why are their thinking so difficult to understand??
And they can still say GIRLS ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND. Hmmph!
Maybe I should go grab a copy of "Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus" from the nearest bookstore now! And pray that might somewhat answer some questions and put a soothing pack of ice to a sore relationship... -__-;;
For Chris Neilson (Robin Williams), his love for his wife Annie (Annabella Sciorra) is limitless. After his untimely death, Chris delights in the knowledge that heaven for him is existing within one of Annie's magnificent paintings.
Yet despite this paradise, Chris feels unfulfilled without his wife, and on earth, Annie cannot endure life without Chris so she attempts to join him.
Chris is advised of Annie's death, but there is no hope of them being reunited, as 'suicides go to hell'. Undeterred, he enlists the wisdom of the Tracker (Max Von Sydow) and Albert (Cuba Gooding Jr.), embarking on an epic odyssey through heaven and hell to free Annie.
Most of us know that in reality, it is rare that love can be 'limitless' and carries on forever, and even after you've died, your love carries on in heaven. Such movie can make you feel that perhaps that is not really the case after all. As you get sucked into the movie, you feel like perhaps in some corner of the world, there is still a pair of very loving couple whose love is still going strong, despite that they are already in their 80s. Who knows, unless you have been through life after death, that couples reunite even after they left this world, just to continue their love before being reborn. And what love could be greater than promising to be lovers again in their next life, and become couples again after being reborn? That feeling is just so astounding yet still leaves a trail of sadness with it.
Another movie I'm gonna be watching next would be "Big Fish". I know it's a fantastic movie, so I can't wait to see it. Luckily there's something called "Renting DVDs" which entitles you to watch back the movies you missed before at the comfort of your own home.
***************************************************************
Thanks to Suya, who gave me so many great advises when I lazed at her house on Sunday night, after we went for dinner at Chom Chom. After returning to Melbourne, Yongshan misses Uncle Wong who works in the kitchen, so she decided to have dinner at our old workplace and see him. But too bad, it seems that Uncle Wong took half a day off, but she phoned him anyway. Chris, Yongshan and I wore black T-shirts to Chom Chom, unrehearsed, and Adrian was making fun of us that we were there to work instead of merely having dinner. It was great seeing Adrian again! He looked so much more matured after his summer holidays! Spotting a slight tan, and growing a wee bit chubbier, he definitely doesn't look like he's just 20 years old... (wait! or is he 19?? I think he JUST turned 19 late 2007). Anyway, I had my usual fish noodle soup.
Just talking about fish noodle soup makes me go "bleah". Why? I think I failed to realise that I am indeed a slow-eater, and I am always the last to finish a meal with anyone, and everyone. On top of that, I am presented with a boiling hot SOUPY noodles, which I always find tormenting to eat it when it's just being brought over to me. I need the soup to cool down a little first before I can really eat them without all the blowing. I am renowned in Chom Chom for taking 1 hour (at least) to finish up the whole bowl of soup. And this 'fame' has carried on up 'til TODAY when I am no longer working there, and everyone (including new staff) knows about it. The moment the order's out, the chefs know the fish noodle soup is for me. And whilst I was eating, all the waitresses whom I have no idea WHO they are, kept coming pass our table, and then reporting to Ed, "Your gf eats really slow leh!" -__-;;; Well, that was according to Ed... I felt so embarrassed! I mean, I know it's just playing around, but then, is that something to feel 'honoured' about? I don't think so.
However, that night, I felt really sweet with a simple gesture, even if he might not have really intended it that way. My friends told me they felt the care and sweetness he has dispersed. Ed brought 4 drinks for us, complimentary. However, when he carried the 4 drinks for us, he specially shifted my favorite Ice Longan out and moved it towards where I was sitting, whereas the other drinks were still 'piled' at the side of the table when he left. Everyone was like "Whoa... so nice to you only!"... and the other drinks were just Iced chengteng and Grass Jelly, up to the rest to choose whatever they want, but the Iced Longan was specially for me. I admit I was touched then and the sweetness shot through me like I've been injected with some ecstasy-equivalent drug. And when we went home together we finally held hands... I wished I stayed in that moment forever.... and ever.....
Anyway, back to the topic on how Suya talked to me about my relationship, and gave me advices which helped. It started with me telling her my feelings about being Ed's gf. I got this sudden feeling when I was eating, that the waitresses there might ask him, "So which one is your gf??" (and yes they DID ask, and they were asked to guess) And when they know it's me, they might even be thinking "Huh... I think he can do better than that!" I don't know why I was suddenly seized with this thinking that I am ugly, and not to say, quite fat. Probably in most people's eyes, I am not a 'gf-material'. It's as if I have this towel tied over my forehead with big, bold capital letters screaming: "THE MOST IMPERFECT GIRL EVER ON EARTH!"... I lack that aspect of confidence, and I hated myself for it. Suya and Yongshan wondered why I felt that way, so that's how I told them my story.
Having gone through a painful breakup just a few months ago, Suya has grown up and became wiser and more matured... at least in the relationship aspect. For all the problems that I viewed as 'problems', she told me in a way that it isn't supposed to be problems anymore. She told me to give him some space and privacy that he deserves. She told me, he is supposed to be a part of my life, but just A PART of it. Not the WHOLE of it. She said not to occupy my thoughts and every minute of my life (other than when I'm working or sleeping) thinking about him, or anything related to him. Furthermore, I mustn't, BECAUSE I care so much for him, be too sensitive and take things he does/says too personally... 'cuz if I did, I will only be more upset when many things he has said/done doesn't really mean the way I thought it is. If it's nothing, then it's nothing. There needs to be trust, until the day he chose to betray that trust. But that is for the later date, which no one hope will happen. Lastly, she advised me to savour every moment I can in this relationship while it last, and try not to demand too much out of him.
Of all the things she has said, I thought they were pretty true. The reason why I am convinced is because she viewed things from his side, plus MY side, and knows why I am like feeling the way I do, and why he is behaving the way he did. No one's wrong, no one's right. No one's bad, no one's good. However, I need to come to terms with my ultra-sensitive nature, plus my immaturity when it comes to handling relationships. Inexperienced as I might be, I need to tell myself that I mustn't be too stubborn and too persistent with my way of thinking, because they might not always be right.
It is difficult to always convince myself when I encounter with some behaviour of his that I never could stand that "it is alright, it is OK"... I tried to calm myself several times today with that thinking, but it's only just for the day. How long would I last? I have no idea. But I got to try... As Suya has said, if he feels that I am pressing him too hard, and he feels suffocated, he will turn away from me and keep a further distance. Perhaps that could explain why he was cold to me? So if I try, would things be better?
Suya told me something regarding the girl that Ed used to like so much. Despite myself being somewhat bothered by her existence (even though that does not mean I dislike her or anything... I still treat her as my friend), Suya told me a different perspective she saw in the girl. She liked this girl because she has lots of confidence in herself, and she led her life carefree and full of life and colour. Perhaps it was this aura that she has spread makes guys fall in love with her? Maybe aside from all the beauty and being someone of 'wife-quality', plus having a good figure and brains, confidence is another important aspect that guys dig? It might be true I seriously lack in my own confidence. Friends have told me long ago that I need to boost up my confidence, and I never really did succeed doing so. On top of that, living a fulfilling life might also mean that you have more things to care about other than your BGR problems. I truly believe in that though. When your life is more colorful, it balances out all aspects of life, and you get fulfillment and satisfaction easier than ever. Mom has told me that so many times too, and sometimes I just cannot deny that Moms are damn wise and can be right most of the time even if you would like to tell yourself otherwise.
There are lots of thinking and changes I need to make for myself in order to make this relationship work without me or him suffering too much. At this point, I know it's still me loving him more (though I know he does care a lot for me too), but we know there is never a balance in a relationship. There is bound to be one party who loves and gives more than the other party. However, I don't think it's an issue to fret about because who knows a couple of years down the road when we are tied down with something else, e.g. our careers, we slowly lose all the focus on our love, and then that's when the balance might somewhat be bridged, because by then your partner might love you a little more than you love him? Guys sometimes are really hard to understand. They like it when they are made to feel very important in the girl's life, yet, they chose to be oblivious and ignores her all the time. Until the day the opposite happens, they started to try their best to win the girl's attention back again. Why are their thinking so difficult to understand??
And they can still say GIRLS ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND. Hmmph!
Maybe I should go grab a copy of "Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus" from the nearest bookstore now! And pray that might somewhat answer some questions and put a soothing pack of ice to a sore relationship... -__-;;
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