To Disembroil or Maybe Not?

Episode 1: Now that the SMS is out, I regret it immediately...

No, I still want you to call me.
No, I still want to hear your voice.
I still want to know how you are doing.
I still want to hear about your stories.
I still want to tell you about me.

Do you know you are my best 'rubbish chute' ever? I mean, I can dump all my miseries to you.

But why did I tell you not to call me that often? Why did I do that when I always look forward to your next call? Why did I want to ruin this happiness just because I am selfish enough to think I am in pain? So what if I am in pain?

It seems like this is for my own good. However, is it really my own good? Why can't I view us purely as friends? We ARE friends now, aren't we?

I am in such a dilemma... I want something but I cannot have that something.

I guess, it is really the end... Possibly this time round, I can find calmness finally.

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Epside 2: But then the calmness has been lifted by you because of all the things you have told me.

Somehow I want to believe you, and I think I do believe you.

You said all these calls you've been giving me means that you are missing me too.

You said I need to grow up, and knows I cannot deal with distance between us therefore he has to let me go.

Now, we will wait until the day we can come together, and if both of us are still at the same spot, we can still be together.

In other words, there is still CHANCE.

Should I wait? Should I not?

Honestly it is not a matter of waiting. It is a matter of whether my heart is willing to budge or not.

I am still at the same spot. I assume he is too. But how long can we stay in our current positions?

Sigh... it's such a mind-boggling, heart-wrenching, soul-tormenting situation... Maybe leaves things for fate. To let fate decide everything for us. If we are meant to be, we will be meant to be. If we are not, then there is no way to force nature and let us be.

Therefore, what would the next episode be? I really can't tell since I am in the command of what fate has arranged for me...