Just as I was wondering if I am officially jobless (I didn't need to work on Monday), I got woken up by Farrah's call at 8.30am this morning, asking me to go to work today as Nektaria was really ill. I thought I sounded very awake when I talk to her. I have this uncanny ability to be instantly alert when a phonecall cuts through my dream, even when I am still in a 'sleep state'. Especially those of serious matter (i.e. not calls from friends, but from work), I bet I sounded almost professional. However, Farrah ended the conversation with:
"I bet you are still sleeping eh? Sorry to wake you up!"
And I thought, do I really sound like I'm still sleeping? Or did the initial 'HELLO' sounds groggy? Then when I hung up, I plopped back into my pillow and slept again, for a good 15 minutes before waking up with a start and yelling at myself: "YOU GOT TO GO TO WORK AH!!! STILL SLEEP?!!"
Thank God I reach work a little after 10am... record time. Luckily now I stay close to the city. If I have no issues of deciding what to wear, I can make it to work sooner than you think! But then, the issue of 'deciding what to wear' only happens when I have my entire wardrobe with me. Now, I am living whatever that is off my suitcase. Easy, no fuss. However, when I feel like dressing up, my suitcase cannot satisfy me. Hmmmph
And then when I reached my workplace, Rachel told me it's her who told Farrah to call me even though 'Clarice should still be in bed'. Lol. Everyone knows I am a sleepyhead piggy who never seems to be able to wake. Luckily they are also aware that I am not letting this trait of mine affect my work. Towards the end of the day, I was told to report to work again tomorrow. Great.
Why 'Great.' but not 'GREAT!'??
It used to be a guarantee that I will work Mon-Fri 8.30am-5pm. Every week I work at least 35 hours. 35 hours multiply by $20 per hour makes $700 per week. In a month, I'll earn at least AUD$2,800~ With this income, I need to pay my rent, my bills, my internet, my phone-bill, my groceries and my transportation. And when social gatherings call, the money vanish before you even carefully look at it. However, ever since last week, this 'guarantee' has been taken off from me as my work officially ends 15 Feb. They need help every now and then, so they will call me when they know they need help. How would I know when they will need help? On top of that, how am I supposed to live with an income slashed by more than 50%? I have a life to lead here. I will not live off my parents. So what am I supposed to do?
Looking for a full time job here without an Australian permanent residency or citizenship here is almost near impossible... unless you are lucky enough. Jobs that are easier to find will bend more towards waitressing, telemarketing and sales - all of which I am trying to avoid. I am also trying to avoid working at places owned by Chinese. Their starting pay is low, and you want a pay rise? It's almost impossible! Work frequency for casual positions are unstable, so I do not have guaranteed income. So now what am I supposed to do??
I am almost tearing my hair out worrying for myself. Resumes and CVs have been sent out, but at the moment, no replies. It seems like nothing is looking my way at the moment. Depressing at how I am going to be 25, yet I still haven't embarked on a proper career, sitting at a position I want to be sitting. My dreams are still out of reach, and there are many aspects of me to be shaped. Recently, I have this sudden, yet very strong feeling for being in my mid-20s, yet not having accomplished a lot yet. To me, I want to be successful in whatever I am doing. Success is an important factor. Career has always been first for me. If you ask me, I'll say career first before love & relationships - and I am not lying. What is a person without his/her own ability to support him/herself? As Mom always preaches to me: Never depend on anybody. Not your parents, because they can leave us anytime. Not your siblings, because sibling feud are so common they are not inclined to help when you most needed them (and I don't even have one!). Not your partner, because both of you may not last. Even if you last, one might leave us earlier. I believe and listen to my Mom on this one. Cuz, I think she is right.
Perhaps it's me being too ambitious. But I am definitely not someone to stay at home in future waiting for my husband to return home, then help him fetch his briefcase and his slippers, with warm dinner all set and ready on the table. I am definitely not someone simply stuck to housework and kids. I may make the worst-quality wife, because I am, but I cannot help myself. I still want my little apartment, with a balcony facing the beautifully lit night view of whichever city I might be in. I still want to drive a mini cooper. I still want a walk-in wardrobe. I still want to be able to travel at least once a year to somewhere exotic or off the beaten path. And last of all, I still want the little puppy that I longed to have...
But at the moment, I still cannot visualize these things happening in the near future. Despair... Hopefully when my permanent residency finally comes down to me, I can somehow see a glimpse of my dreams hovering around somewhere, waiting and beckoning for me to catch it...
"I bet you are still sleeping eh? Sorry to wake you up!"
And I thought, do I really sound like I'm still sleeping? Or did the initial 'HELLO' sounds groggy? Then when I hung up, I plopped back into my pillow and slept again, for a good 15 minutes before waking up with a start and yelling at myself: "YOU GOT TO GO TO WORK AH!!! STILL SLEEP?!!"
Thank God I reach work a little after 10am... record time. Luckily now I stay close to the city. If I have no issues of deciding what to wear, I can make it to work sooner than you think! But then, the issue of 'deciding what to wear' only happens when I have my entire wardrobe with me. Now, I am living whatever that is off my suitcase. Easy, no fuss. However, when I feel like dressing up, my suitcase cannot satisfy me. Hmmmph
And then when I reached my workplace, Rachel told me it's her who told Farrah to call me even though 'Clarice should still be in bed'. Lol. Everyone knows I am a sleepyhead piggy who never seems to be able to wake. Luckily they are also aware that I am not letting this trait of mine affect my work. Towards the end of the day, I was told to report to work again tomorrow. Great.
Why 'Great.' but not 'GREAT!'??
It used to be a guarantee that I will work Mon-Fri 8.30am-5pm. Every week I work at least 35 hours. 35 hours multiply by $20 per hour makes $700 per week. In a month, I'll earn at least AUD$2,800~ With this income, I need to pay my rent, my bills, my internet, my phone-bill, my groceries and my transportation. And when social gatherings call, the money vanish before you even carefully look at it. However, ever since last week, this 'guarantee' has been taken off from me as my work officially ends 15 Feb. They need help every now and then, so they will call me when they know they need help. How would I know when they will need help? On top of that, how am I supposed to live with an income slashed by more than 50%? I have a life to lead here. I will not live off my parents. So what am I supposed to do?
Looking for a full time job here without an Australian permanent residency or citizenship here is almost near impossible... unless you are lucky enough. Jobs that are easier to find will bend more towards waitressing, telemarketing and sales - all of which I am trying to avoid. I am also trying to avoid working at places owned by Chinese. Their starting pay is low, and you want a pay rise? It's almost impossible! Work frequency for casual positions are unstable, so I do not have guaranteed income. So now what am I supposed to do??
I am almost tearing my hair out worrying for myself. Resumes and CVs have been sent out, but at the moment, no replies. It seems like nothing is looking my way at the moment. Depressing at how I am going to be 25, yet I still haven't embarked on a proper career, sitting at a position I want to be sitting. My dreams are still out of reach, and there are many aspects of me to be shaped. Recently, I have this sudden, yet very strong feeling for being in my mid-20s, yet not having accomplished a lot yet. To me, I want to be successful in whatever I am doing. Success is an important factor. Career has always been first for me. If you ask me, I'll say career first before love & relationships - and I am not lying. What is a person without his/her own ability to support him/herself? As Mom always preaches to me: Never depend on anybody. Not your parents, because they can leave us anytime. Not your siblings, because sibling feud are so common they are not inclined to help when you most needed them (and I don't even have one!). Not your partner, because both of you may not last. Even if you last, one might leave us earlier. I believe and listen to my Mom on this one. Cuz, I think she is right.
Perhaps it's me being too ambitious. But I am definitely not someone to stay at home in future waiting for my husband to return home, then help him fetch his briefcase and his slippers, with warm dinner all set and ready on the table. I am definitely not someone simply stuck to housework and kids. I may make the worst-quality wife, because I am, but I cannot help myself. I still want my little apartment, with a balcony facing the beautifully lit night view of whichever city I might be in. I still want to drive a mini cooper. I still want a walk-in wardrobe. I still want to be able to travel at least once a year to somewhere exotic or off the beaten path. And last of all, I still want the little puppy that I longed to have...
But at the moment, I still cannot visualize these things happening in the near future. Despair... Hopefully when my permanent residency finally comes down to me, I can somehow see a glimpse of my dreams hovering around somewhere, waiting and beckoning for me to catch it...
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