Defeat

Doesn't it just amaze you?

When you are burning with fury, all the words come gushing out of your mouth with orderliness and full of confidence...

But you have no audience to listen to you...


Doesn't it just amaze you?

When you are in the actual situation to confront and vent all your anger, you get so lost for words and can only sit there, gape and listen?

And feeling utterly helpless because you are unable to defend yourself...


When I had a chance for an explanation of what I think and how I feel, I cannot express myself because the other party just has seemingly just stuffed all the right words into your mouth, and froze you for any response. All I could do was to swallow the words and then choke.

Simply put, I just have no wit whatsoever.

I am always the loser in any chess game. I never win. I always lose.

Dumb to be so pessimistic, but tell me where can I get my confidence back when I've just shoved it into the Pacific Ocean?

After all, I am usually the unreasonable one... the one who doesn't possess full understanding to anymore under any circumstances - the person who is still a 'child' and still 'needs to grow up' - or so they say.

Or maybe I am?

Turns out, I am in the wrong... I got to review my own words and actions.
Maybe I am not completely right, but then, don't I have my own plight and feelings at all to consider?

Yet, I couldn't even bring across what I really wanted to say.

This can't be it. My 2 biggest dream careers do not appreciate dimwit people like me!


Everything's just driving me nuts...