How Do I Smile?
Actually, I have forgotten how to smile... True, I do smile "Good Morning" to my colleagues, but it is not from my heart. I am starting to distance myself from other people, and lock myself in my room at home. At work I kept quiet most of the time, except to snap at people when targets weren't met. I felt myself becoming someone hateful, and I don't know why I've become the way I am. Talking and interacting seem to need so much effort now, and I felt myself so filthy that I don't deserve to be with anyone anymore... I miss him terribly, yet I cannot call/see him, least to say to hold any hopes for another chance.
Days pass me by, and nights are getting worse with insomnia. I know he possibly might even have forgiven me, however, there is nothing I can say or do to get back together with him. Forgiveness doesn't equal to getting back together. For even though I think they can be equal, but not everybody will think the same way.
I am glad Yongshan and Suya managed to get me out to watch "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa" because this movie do make me laugh out loud. Especially the part where the monkeys linked arms flying through the air on the aeroplane to save Alex the Lion and his father, and how they miscommunicate by playing 'passing the message'. It was hilarious! Animations are cute... they make me forget my troubles for just that little while, but it's worth it.
I want to watch "Australia" (heard it's a really good movie!) soon, as well as "Twilight". Soon, I hope to catch "The Tale of Despereaux"...
I will try to 'enjoy' my Christmas and New Year's Eve as much as I can. But no matter what, it will never be the same without him.
If only I haven't done what I've done, I'll probably be in a different, and more fortunate position right now... : (
Days pass me by, and nights are getting worse with insomnia. I know he possibly might even have forgiven me, however, there is nothing I can say or do to get back together with him. Forgiveness doesn't equal to getting back together. For even though I think they can be equal, but not everybody will think the same way.
I am glad Yongshan and Suya managed to get me out to watch "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa" because this movie do make me laugh out loud. Especially the part where the monkeys linked arms flying through the air on the aeroplane to save Alex the Lion and his father, and how they miscommunicate by playing 'passing the message'. It was hilarious! Animations are cute... they make me forget my troubles for just that little while, but it's worth it.
I want to watch "Australia" (heard it's a really good movie!) soon, as well as "Twilight". Soon, I hope to catch "The Tale of Despereaux"...
I will try to 'enjoy' my Christmas and New Year's Eve as much as I can. But no matter what, it will never be the same without him.
If only I haven't done what I've done, I'll probably be in a different, and more fortunate position right now... : (
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