Swollen Head
I wonder if I can sleep tonight...
Actually I have already planned out everything... But what happens if something screws up and doesn't work my way?
There are so many things to think about.... Recently I haven't been able to sleep well either because a lot of things are bugging me. To make things worse, recently I have a good friend who, for no reason (that I know of) started to ignore me completely. We see each other every week in class, and we are always joking and have lots to say to each other. Everyone knows we tease each other and are the noisest duo in class. However, since a month ago, he has stopped talking to me completely. At first, I thought something personal is bothering him, and left him alone. Then, I realized he is talking to everyone else in class, except me. Last week, I asked him gently if he has been alright, and he replied that he is. However, his attitude remained constant. I couldn't understand why, and slowly I started to become really pissed off. I mean, if it REALLY is something about ME, it's either you 1) tell me what's going on; or 2) don't tell me what's going on but stop that silent treatment. If you don't wish to let me know what's up, then be angry for a couple of weeks, then go back to normal! What's this childish act about??? Really, I don't think I have done anything so wrong that I need to be ignored for a month! I am being ignored for a reason I have NO idea about, and this is making me very uncomfortable...
At my place, 2 more new housemates has taken over after our Swedish housemate, Ola, has left (he returned to Sweden after his studies). The new housemate is a guy from Singapore, and his gf is from Japan. They are both friends of Rich's. At the moment everything seems OK, but the house is a lot more cluttered now, with many new 'decorative' additions, especially in the bathroom. Both of them are PRs here and they have a lot more things to fit in our tiny little hole. The guy seems like a really nice person, but I do not know about his gf. I've just met her once, and she's reasonably OK. She barely speaks a word of English though, and even looked blankly at me when I said "Nice to meet you!". Shucks, I don't speak much Japanese to be able communicate with her. Looks like we will all mind our own business(es), not that I am complaining about that... (I like my privacy!)
Sigh....... I wonder what's gonna happen after today??? Ideally, I hope to stay til mid-September then off to Korea (or Doha for a few days before Korea).... I've just received Michelle and Jason's wedding invitation (which will take place on 11 Sept) and I really want to go... Michelle has been really excited about her wedding, and I want to be there to congratulate her... Furthermore, it will be my first all-Aussie wedding after being here for so long..... I was also invited to her hens before that.... Perhaps I will go as well?? Sigh.... with all these 'to stay or not to stay' issues hovering over my head, I have no mood to go anywhere... When I am not working, I am inclined to simply stay in my room and rot...
ARGH....!!! I don't think I will pass my English (not juz cuz I have low confidence), but I really hope this day can quickly come and go, and I can start 10 July having accepted whatever it is, PR or tourist visa... and move on with life.... :|
My HP Pavilion returned to me yesterday, after months of delay sending it off for repairs. The computer had hard disk problems, and after months of forgetting/lazing/procrastinating I have FINALLY sent it off for repairs. After my HP came back, I realized I didn't have space on my desk for another laptop... In fact, my room was so cluttered, I felt sick in it. Thus, I decided to do a clean-up. (Either way, a clean-up is necessary... If I have to eventually leave AU I've got an even more major clean-up to do)
Found a lot of things in my room that are "throw-able". Honestly, I have kept a lot of nonsense all these years... Receipts, take-away menus, tags from new clothes etc.... All of them went into the bin. Then I dug through my accessories boxes, and came across 2 necklaces that he has given me during the first month we were together...
I threw them away.
I came across a letter I wrote him before, together with his reply...
I tore and threw that away.
Then I dug up another photo of us together, which I have framed.
I threw that away.
I couldn't find the Swarovski ring though... I can't remember where I've hidden it... When I find that I will throw that away as well...
All those things I've chucked away, a piece of my heart goes with it... It hurts like hell, but perhaps this will be a better option for me... I hope I can find sanity somewhere with more space in my room, and less of things I don't want to be reminded of.....
Actually I have already planned out everything... But what happens if something screws up and doesn't work my way?
- If I meet the standards for IELTS test, I will go down to the agent straightaway and lodge for PR. I don't even want to apply it myself. With the agent's help, who cares about paying 1.5K more? Everything will be much easier for me to work and stay, and I don't have to worry if I have missed out on any details...
- If I do not meet the standards for IELTS test, I will go straight home and lodge for tourist visa online, stay for another less than 3 months, and then go to Korea.
- If I am able to apply for PR, will I be able to submit everything within 28 days, given that I have not applied for any other documents such as health check, police check and skills assessment. Didn't apply for these cuz of uncertainty of my IELTS test....
- If I am to apply for tourist visa, my visa expires TODAY. Will I be able to apply in time? If not, will immigration still grant me my visa?? Or perhaps I have to leave the country first and then come back again?
There are so many things to think about.... Recently I haven't been able to sleep well either because a lot of things are bugging me. To make things worse, recently I have a good friend who, for no reason (that I know of) started to ignore me completely. We see each other every week in class, and we are always joking and have lots to say to each other. Everyone knows we tease each other and are the noisest duo in class. However, since a month ago, he has stopped talking to me completely. At first, I thought something personal is bothering him, and left him alone. Then, I realized he is talking to everyone else in class, except me. Last week, I asked him gently if he has been alright, and he replied that he is. However, his attitude remained constant. I couldn't understand why, and slowly I started to become really pissed off. I mean, if it REALLY is something about ME, it's either you 1) tell me what's going on; or 2) don't tell me what's going on but stop that silent treatment. If you don't wish to let me know what's up, then be angry for a couple of weeks, then go back to normal! What's this childish act about??? Really, I don't think I have done anything so wrong that I need to be ignored for a month! I am being ignored for a reason I have NO idea about, and this is making me very uncomfortable...
At my place, 2 more new housemates has taken over after our Swedish housemate, Ola, has left (he returned to Sweden after his studies). The new housemate is a guy from Singapore, and his gf is from Japan. They are both friends of Rich's. At the moment everything seems OK, but the house is a lot more cluttered now, with many new 'decorative' additions, especially in the bathroom. Both of them are PRs here and they have a lot more things to fit in our tiny little hole. The guy seems like a really nice person, but I do not know about his gf. I've just met her once, and she's reasonably OK. She barely speaks a word of English though, and even looked blankly at me when I said "Nice to meet you!". Shucks, I don't speak much Japanese to be able communicate with her. Looks like we will all mind our own business(es), not that I am complaining about that... (I like my privacy!)
Sigh....... I wonder what's gonna happen after today??? Ideally, I hope to stay til mid-September then off to Korea (or Doha for a few days before Korea).... I've just received Michelle and Jason's wedding invitation (which will take place on 11 Sept) and I really want to go... Michelle has been really excited about her wedding, and I want to be there to congratulate her... Furthermore, it will be my first all-Aussie wedding after being here for so long..... I was also invited to her hens before that.... Perhaps I will go as well?? Sigh.... with all these 'to stay or not to stay' issues hovering over my head, I have no mood to go anywhere... When I am not working, I am inclined to simply stay in my room and rot...
ARGH....!!! I don't think I will pass my English (not juz cuz I have low confidence), but I really hope this day can quickly come and go, and I can start 10 July having accepted whatever it is, PR or tourist visa... and move on with life.... :|
My HP Pavilion returned to me yesterday, after months of delay sending it off for repairs. The computer had hard disk problems, and after months of forgetting/lazing/procrastinating I have FINALLY sent it off for repairs. After my HP came back, I realized I didn't have space on my desk for another laptop... In fact, my room was so cluttered, I felt sick in it. Thus, I decided to do a clean-up. (Either way, a clean-up is necessary... If I have to eventually leave AU I've got an even more major clean-up to do)
Found a lot of things in my room that are "throw-able". Honestly, I have kept a lot of nonsense all these years... Receipts, take-away menus, tags from new clothes etc.... All of them went into the bin. Then I dug through my accessories boxes, and came across 2 necklaces that he has given me during the first month we were together...
I threw them away.
I came across a letter I wrote him before, together with his reply...
I tore and threw that away.
Then I dug up another photo of us together, which I have framed.
I threw that away.
I couldn't find the Swarovski ring though... I can't remember where I've hidden it... When I find that I will throw that away as well...
All those things I've chucked away, a piece of my heart goes with it... It hurts like hell, but perhaps this will be a better option for me... I hope I can find sanity somewhere with more space in my room, and less of things I don't want to be reminded of.....
Comments