A Stumped Moment
Things just got really weird between one of my housemates and I.
I never knew I needed to report to anyone of my whereabouts here in Melbourne. I will gladly do it in Singapore to my parents, however, I do not do it to anyone out of home. Even Ed and I never used to do that either. However, I realized gradually that I am supposed to sort of 'report' of the status of my whereabouts here, in this house.
To start things with, I do not like to report to people on my daily schedules, my whereabouts, or even if I am going to be back home very late, unless I am willing to say so myself. I don't see the point to, anyway. Furthermore, we were not all good friends before moving in together (like Sha and I used to tell each other if we are going to be late, or if either of us are not returning home that night, cuz we were good friends), and even though we all got close eventually, the feeling is not the same. Also, we are all sensible, grown adults who know how to take care of ourselves. I weren't missing for 48 hours either. What is the point then?
It all started quite some time before I went back to Singapore. I tried to keep it subtle when I avoided questions. However, things ignited that morning when I got home at 7am and my housemate was awake. I was asked where I went and I avoided the question in a friendly manner, simply stating that 'I went out...' with no elaboration. Of course this was an insatisfactory answer and the answer was posed to me again. And again, I gave the same answer before retiring to my room. That afternoon an SMS was sent to me (and I only managed to read it about 4hours later) saying that I should at least tell someone in the house if I am going to be out all night, or else people will 'worry'. This was my reply:
"Don't have to worry for me cuz if I am going to go out that late I'll make sure I have a car or transport back. :)"
Fine, I take it as it's MY fault for not telling. However, during the whole time I was out, there wasn't any calls or sms-es to ask if I am OK or if I'm going to be late. If there were any, I probably will regard it as being worried for me, and I'll be OK with it. I'll probably even tell you where I am and what I'm doing! That would have been a different story. Therefore, if this sort of 'worry' was only voiced out to me after I returned home, I really don't know if that is called 'WORRY' or simply 'KPO'. Also, it wasn't the first time I got back home late. Why didn't I get the same sort of 'worry' when I returned home at 5am VS when I returned home at 7am? Am I not allowed to stay out so late?? Come to think of it, he always seems displeased when I did. Ed never did that to me when we were staying together. He valued my freedom and my sensibility to stay safe. Then where does my housemate stand in this case anyway?
Honestly, he could have just approached me and confront me VERBALLY. I wouldn't have mind. He never discussed anything about it with me either anyway.
Now regardless if I am in the wrong or not, after the whole "not-reporting" saga, I thought things will go back to normal after a night's sleep. However, I was wrong. This housemate never talked to me again, and even avoided me when I stepped out of my room at the same time he did. The way he did it was so obvious that I thought, please, do you need to be such a petty person? You are a guy, you know, but you behave as if you are a girl!
Probably a question might pop up in your head asking why am I so resistant to people questioning me on my whereabouts.... Other than not liking to report to anyone, I guess it also depends on the person who asks me. For my housemate, he always HAS to come out of his room whenever I reach home to 'welcome' (if that is the correct word) me, when sometimes I really just wished to be left alone. But I never minded that presence but he will go on to ask me (in an unobvious way) about my daily whereabouts. I've noticed that all along, and slowly I started to resist to such questions. Sometimes, when he asked where I'm going, I will simply reply that "I am going out". And whenever I said that he will sacarstically state, "Yeah, of course you are going OUT.... you can't be going AWAY or something yeah..." meaning, you got to elaborate with as much details as you can...
I honestly do not think I am at fault that much. I value my freedom too much, I guess. Maybe I should draw up a daily timetable, and a list of possible return times and possible groups of people that I will hang out with, and paste it on the fridge to avoid more conflicts?
You know, guys can be so 'gu-niang' sometimes... And these guys totally turn me off! :\
I never knew I needed to report to anyone of my whereabouts here in Melbourne. I will gladly do it in Singapore to my parents, however, I do not do it to anyone out of home. Even Ed and I never used to do that either. However, I realized gradually that I am supposed to sort of 'report' of the status of my whereabouts here, in this house.
To start things with, I do not like to report to people on my daily schedules, my whereabouts, or even if I am going to be back home very late, unless I am willing to say so myself. I don't see the point to, anyway. Furthermore, we were not all good friends before moving in together (like Sha and I used to tell each other if we are going to be late, or if either of us are not returning home that night, cuz we were good friends), and even though we all got close eventually, the feeling is not the same. Also, we are all sensible, grown adults who know how to take care of ourselves. I weren't missing for 48 hours either. What is the point then?
It all started quite some time before I went back to Singapore. I tried to keep it subtle when I avoided questions. However, things ignited that morning when I got home at 7am and my housemate was awake. I was asked where I went and I avoided the question in a friendly manner, simply stating that 'I went out...' with no elaboration. Of course this was an insatisfactory answer and the answer was posed to me again. And again, I gave the same answer before retiring to my room. That afternoon an SMS was sent to me (and I only managed to read it about 4hours later) saying that I should at least tell someone in the house if I am going to be out all night, or else people will 'worry'. This was my reply:
"Don't have to worry for me cuz if I am going to go out that late I'll make sure I have a car or transport back. :)"
Fine, I take it as it's MY fault for not telling. However, during the whole time I was out, there wasn't any calls or sms-es to ask if I am OK or if I'm going to be late. If there were any, I probably will regard it as being worried for me, and I'll be OK with it. I'll probably even tell you where I am and what I'm doing! That would have been a different story. Therefore, if this sort of 'worry' was only voiced out to me after I returned home, I really don't know if that is called 'WORRY' or simply 'KPO'. Also, it wasn't the first time I got back home late. Why didn't I get the same sort of 'worry' when I returned home at 5am VS when I returned home at 7am? Am I not allowed to stay out so late?? Come to think of it, he always seems displeased when I did. Ed never did that to me when we were staying together. He valued my freedom and my sensibility to stay safe. Then where does my housemate stand in this case anyway?
Honestly, he could have just approached me and confront me VERBALLY. I wouldn't have mind. He never discussed anything about it with me either anyway.
Now regardless if I am in the wrong or not, after the whole "not-reporting" saga, I thought things will go back to normal after a night's sleep. However, I was wrong. This housemate never talked to me again, and even avoided me when I stepped out of my room at the same time he did. The way he did it was so obvious that I thought, please, do you need to be such a petty person? You are a guy, you know, but you behave as if you are a girl!
Probably a question might pop up in your head asking why am I so resistant to people questioning me on my whereabouts.... Other than not liking to report to anyone, I guess it also depends on the person who asks me. For my housemate, he always HAS to come out of his room whenever I reach home to 'welcome' (if that is the correct word) me, when sometimes I really just wished to be left alone. But I never minded that presence but he will go on to ask me (in an unobvious way) about my daily whereabouts. I've noticed that all along, and slowly I started to resist to such questions. Sometimes, when he asked where I'm going, I will simply reply that "I am going out". And whenever I said that he will sacarstically state, "Yeah, of course you are going OUT.... you can't be going AWAY or something yeah..." meaning, you got to elaborate with as much details as you can...
I honestly do not think I am at fault that much. I value my freedom too much, I guess. Maybe I should draw up a daily timetable, and a list of possible return times and possible groups of people that I will hang out with, and paste it on the fridge to avoid more conflicts?
You know, guys can be so 'gu-niang' sometimes... And these guys totally turn me off! :\
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