Final. Decision.

Yesterday, I sat down with my manager, Guy, and we came up with a few "solutions".

Seriously, I do not fit in this role as a purchasing assistant/invoicer. Anyone and everyone could see that. I suck at numbers. I suck at organization. I am probably good at not needing to comply to a set of rules and try fitting myself into a square box. I have tried my very best, but I cannot give my optimum of all the requirements in this role. I am seriously exhausted.

I came forward with my decision, that was made on the 31st October - I am quitting.

Guy was not surprised, because he understood that my dream job is no where near any of the roles within the company. However, he wanted me to stay, preferably until I find something else. He wanted me to go back to the stock room and do what I was doing before - silver stock picker - for the Christmas period. I told him I have planned either to leave at the end of November, or December. He asked me to go back, think about it thoroughly, and let him know when I want to leave. He will not force me, and will accept whatever decisions I have come up with.

Actually he was really supportive. He understood what I meant in every sentence I delivered, and therefore I became direct and talked about the company culture that has created a high staff turnover rate. Of all the people who has left, and whom I have talked to, no one can really stand the high and mighty management level, unfriendly speeches, nor the peaking stress level. Suprisingly, Guy understood what I meant and was able to give appropriate analysis and advice. And what is more surprising, is that Guy asked that if I ever need a reference in any of my future job hunts, he will be more than happy to be one for me. Really grateful.

I will stay until end of December. Since it is just another 8 weeks more, I will stay for yet another crazy Christmas, in a job I am so familiar with, and then leave the company in search for a better future. I have decided to leave, not only because I have had enough, but also it is time for me to seriously look for something else instead of sticking to the same company doing something I do not like, and seeing the same old things everyday. I may pursue my dream. I might end up working other unrelated jobs. I also have plans for a business, though I am not disclosing details until things get more substantial. But I am definitely in seek of new experiences and learn new things. Start afresh.

I am not sure if I will be out of job for long after that. True, I still have a restaurant job to back me up (luckily I still kept the job even though it wears me out)... but it is not permanent... I guess I have to see how things go and take it from there. Hopefully things will work out just fine soon.

船到桥头自然直.