Mr. Brooks
Tuesday (14th Aug) went to watch movie with Edwin, Grace and Mary... After locking myself in Caulfield's postgrad room the entire afternoon, I've more or less finished up my ethics assignment, which is due later on (Wednesday, 5pm)... That's why I dared to go out for a movie session...
Initially they wanted to catch the 9.30pm's "Knocked Up", but I thought it's too late, and by the time we come out from the movies I'll have missed my last bus home (I don't want to walk home!) so I told them it's either they go ahead and watch it without me, or choose another movie. In the end they decided to catch "Mr. Brooks" at 8.40pm, so I joined.
Earl Brooks (Kevin Costner) is a very successful businessman and a generous philanthropist, a loving father and devoted husband. It seems like he's perfect, but actually he has a deep, dark secret that he hides, that no one must know, nor has anyone suspected. He's the Thumbprint serial killer, who seemingly kills alot of couples over the years, feeding the hunger and desire of his alter ego "Marshall" (William Hurt). After he struck again, his murder act was being photographed by amateur photographer "Mr. Smith" (Dane Cook) and he used the photos to 'blackmail' Brooks to join in the murder acts. Meanwhile, there is also an investigator to this crime Tracey Atwood (Demi Moore) who is a very successful cop and also going through a divorce, tried to solve this murder case.
I actually liked this movie for some reason... It's not too mind-boggling for a thriller/crime movie, and it was intriguing, thrilling enough to keep my tired eyes open throughout the entire movie. It has all the good actors in it too (Kevin Costner, William Hurt, Demi Moore) and for the first time I can actually leave the cinemas without questions in my head. It's worth a watch, in my opinion.
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These 2 nights, I've been crying alot... I just cannot help it. Maybe I am just feeling rather emotional, but then, I cannot deny the hurt that he is giving me.
The only way I calm myself down is to tell myself: He's not my boyfriend. I cannot expect anything. He is NOT LIABLE to do anything to me. I am nobody but just a normal friend.
I am regretting all the actions I've done. Like a hopeless fool. Friday night, stayed at his place, just to watch some DVDs and he's looking for someone to accompany him. I agreed. Saturday, I cooked kimchi fried rice, packed a box specially for him, and passed to him on Sunday. Why did I do that? I don't know. It doesn't really matter if I didn't hear a word of THANKS from him. I really do not need it. But at least tell me if it tastes ok? Show some form of appreciation? Will that hurt? However, nothing from him. No call/sms telling me if he has had diarrhoea or food poisoning. In the end, I am the one who initiated SMS-ing him, asking if he has tried the fried rice, to which he said, "it was too spicy". What can I say? "OK, if it's not nice, then throw it away then". He said, "it's nice. finished it"... Monotone. Nothing else. Makes me feel like he's being FORCED to eat.
But why did I even set aside a box for him? I can just keep it for myself and at least 4 of my dinners will be solved. Why did I even bother? Kimchi fried rice is the only thing I cook that is 'edible' in that sense... the first I thought of is to let him have them. But in the end...? What did I get? Nothing... I flung myself to him. I did it voluntarily. I'm sure if I were to give my fried rice to any other friend, they would've shown some sort of appreciation. But him???
Asked me for movie on Tuesday... But when we met up, he treated me as if I have some fatal disease... Didn't dare to come near me. When I accidentally touched him, he jumped away like I'm going to rape him. What is this?! Grace and Mary were perfectly normal with me, what is up with him? Attempted to voice these thoughts to him online, but he laughed it off. How am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed to do??
I've really crossed the line this time. I've told myself upteen times that I can't do this anymore. So far I've been controlling myself, yet, whatever I do I think of him. I want to share things with him. I want to do things with him. But on his part, he's never think of me that way. He's never wanted to share things with me. He's never wanted to do alot of things with me. I've realised that he's actually a selfish human being. Selfish. Insensitive. Heart-breaker. Ego bruiser.
I know things are impossible between the 2 of us. I have never asked for anything more than just being brothers and sisters. Or simply just close friends. I wish he'll treat me a little bit better, and I'll be happier.
Now I really have the urge to call my dad and ask if he's willing to finance me for a couple of months, and I'll just quit my job now. Can I?
Initially they wanted to catch the 9.30pm's "Knocked Up", but I thought it's too late, and by the time we come out from the movies I'll have missed my last bus home (I don't want to walk home!) so I told them it's either they go ahead and watch it without me, or choose another movie. In the end they decided to catch "Mr. Brooks" at 8.40pm, so I joined.
Earl Brooks (Kevin Costner) is a very successful businessman and a generous philanthropist, a loving father and devoted husband. It seems like he's perfect, but actually he has a deep, dark secret that he hides, that no one must know, nor has anyone suspected. He's the Thumbprint serial killer, who seemingly kills alot of couples over the years, feeding the hunger and desire of his alter ego "Marshall" (William Hurt). After he struck again, his murder act was being photographed by amateur photographer "Mr. Smith" (Dane Cook) and he used the photos to 'blackmail' Brooks to join in the murder acts. Meanwhile, there is also an investigator to this crime Tracey Atwood (Demi Moore) who is a very successful cop and also going through a divorce, tried to solve this murder case.
I actually liked this movie for some reason... It's not too mind-boggling for a thriller/crime movie, and it was intriguing, thrilling enough to keep my tired eyes open throughout the entire movie. It has all the good actors in it too (Kevin Costner, William Hurt, Demi Moore) and for the first time I can actually leave the cinemas without questions in my head. It's worth a watch, in my opinion.
******************************************************************************
These 2 nights, I've been crying alot... I just cannot help it. Maybe I am just feeling rather emotional, but then, I cannot deny the hurt that he is giving me.
The only way I calm myself down is to tell myself: He's not my boyfriend. I cannot expect anything. He is NOT LIABLE to do anything to me. I am nobody but just a normal friend.
I am regretting all the actions I've done. Like a hopeless fool. Friday night, stayed at his place, just to watch some DVDs and he's looking for someone to accompany him. I agreed. Saturday, I cooked kimchi fried rice, packed a box specially for him, and passed to him on Sunday. Why did I do that? I don't know. It doesn't really matter if I didn't hear a word of THANKS from him. I really do not need it. But at least tell me if it tastes ok? Show some form of appreciation? Will that hurt? However, nothing from him. No call/sms telling me if he has had diarrhoea or food poisoning. In the end, I am the one who initiated SMS-ing him, asking if he has tried the fried rice, to which he said, "it was too spicy". What can I say? "OK, if it's not nice, then throw it away then". He said, "it's nice. finished it"... Monotone. Nothing else. Makes me feel like he's being FORCED to eat.
But why did I even set aside a box for him? I can just keep it for myself and at least 4 of my dinners will be solved. Why did I even bother? Kimchi fried rice is the only thing I cook that is 'edible' in that sense... the first I thought of is to let him have them. But in the end...? What did I get? Nothing... I flung myself to him. I did it voluntarily. I'm sure if I were to give my fried rice to any other friend, they would've shown some sort of appreciation. But him???
Asked me for movie on Tuesday... But when we met up, he treated me as if I have some fatal disease... Didn't dare to come near me. When I accidentally touched him, he jumped away like I'm going to rape him. What is this?! Grace and Mary were perfectly normal with me, what is up with him? Attempted to voice these thoughts to him online, but he laughed it off. How am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed to do??
I've really crossed the line this time. I've told myself upteen times that I can't do this anymore. So far I've been controlling myself, yet, whatever I do I think of him. I want to share things with him. I want to do things with him. But on his part, he's never think of me that way. He's never wanted to share things with me. He's never wanted to do alot of things with me. I've realised that he's actually a selfish human being. Selfish. Insensitive. Heart-breaker. Ego bruiser.
I know things are impossible between the 2 of us. I have never asked for anything more than just being brothers and sisters. Or simply just close friends. I wish he'll treat me a little bit better, and I'll be happier.
Now I really have the urge to call my dad and ask if he's willing to finance me for a couple of months, and I'll just quit my job now. Can I?
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