Share House 'Trauma'
Honestly I don't know if it is because I have pretty high discipline and principles, I cannot stand people who do such things.
1. Coming into the house with NO basic things such as cutleries, basic cooking utensils, bowls and plates.
Fine. You are a newbie. I forgive you.
2. Using your bowls/plates/cutleries/cooking utensils (let's name them kitchen utilities') at their own free will without asking the first time if it is alright to use, or at least ask who those things belongs to.
Fine. I have many to spare anyway. And I really did not mind sharing.
3. Oftentimes, kitchen utensils were used and not washed. Probably they will get washed eventually, between 1-3 days interval.
Fine. I don't make a massive hooha over such things because I am also lazy sometimes and leave things to wash the next day. Sometimes I help to wash them, if not, I just pretend I didnt see it.
4. They washed it, however, they are mostly NOT clean.
Fine. I'll just re-wash it when I use it.
5. You realize that they will NEVER go look for anything else that could be stored away (i.e. less frequently used) unless it's something more 'extraordinary' that they need other kind of 'kitchen utensils'. Meaning, they will simply use, re-use, AND re-use those on the dish rack, which unfortunately all belongs to ME.
Fine. I just have to find my own alternative.
6. Thinking all the above-mentioned could be temporary, however, after moving in for so long (at least half a year already!), they have never brought any of their own 'kitchen utensils' with them, nor buy new ones. When questioned, the reply I received was their stuff is still at their OLD house.
Now MY question is: why can't you bring them here?
Still Fine.
7. I do not know how expensive it could be to invest in a tumbler. I am very 'heng' they didn't use my tumbler (I'd have freaked out!) but they simply dumped their multiple toothbrushes and toothpaste into MY small basket in the bathroom, and when I took them out, they will simply put it back in again.....!! There are still so much empty space at the other side of the basin collecting dust, why can't they occupy that space?
And once again, they never asked if it is OK to use my space. I never did mind, but where are your manners???
Still fine...
8. When the rubbish bin is full, they NEVER throw them out. They pile on top of the 'peaking' mountain top, hoping that someone else will take them out 'on behalf of them'.
OK... I don't bring the rubbish down all the time either since I hardly ever throw anything in the kitchen bin (cuz I hardly cook or eat at home). I pity the other housemate who always does the take-out....
9. They slam doors all the time, at ALL times. I tried that out the other time, and it took me such a big effort to actually slam a door. Why waste so much energy to tell people you are trying to close the door???
And I was still cool about it.... I am a sound sleeper, fortunately.
And then, until these things made me snap...
10. THEY LOVE USING ALL MY CUPS AND LONG TEASPOONS AND IT HAS BEEN LIKE 10 YEARS SINCE I'VE LAST SEEN THEM!!!!!!
I have been missing my long teaspoon for a long time (I like to use long teaspoons as opposed to the usual short ones) and I have yet located it. I know who might be holding on to it though. I have to resort to stick up a note on the fridge door and my fingers are now crossed that it will be returned to me. What a futile way to still remain nice. I should have knocked on their door to ask instead!
And it's ALWAYS my cups they use! And they keep those cups until they are too dirty to be drank from then they will take it out to wash. However, when I want to use them, I often find (if they are still there for me) coffee and orange juice stains on them STILL!
11. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO LOCK A BLOODY DOOR WHEN THEY COME IN AND GO OUT. IT FREAKS THE CRAP OUT OF ME TO COME BACK HOME LATE AT NIGHT FINDING THE DOOR UNLOCKED. AND I HAVE ALREADY TOLD THEM SO MANY TIMES!!!! YOU NEED A KEY TO UNLOCK THE DOOR TO GET IN AND OUT. YOU ARE STILL HOLDING THE KEY WHEN YOU HAVE THE DOOR OPENED AND WHEN YOU CLOSE THE DOOR. THERE ARE NO EXTRA/DOUBLE ACTION NEEDED IN THIS PROCESS. IS IT AN EXTRA EFFORT TO LOCK THE DOOR AGAIN???
I just cannot understand why!
I have told them so many times verbally (and written reminders pasted beside the door lock) until I have to use "violence" to actually get them to lock the door (i.e. I came back one day finding the lock unlocked and I created a din late at night).
I am also suspecting they have been opening my cupboard and pinch some things in tiny quantities, but I know what I have and I can tell if someone has touched my things. Pity I have no evidence to show they did, therefore I cannot accuse anyone unless I have proof!
I am starting to keep some of the 'kitchen utensils' that belongs to me away. I know this seems like a very selfish act, but I am seriously being driven nuts because they either use and do not return, or they return but didn't wash them properly. I do not get a chance to even talk to them because I am always not home and they sleep early.
Sometimes I keep my temper down because when we do meet up and interact, they treat me pretty well too. Sometimes they share the food they cook, and insisted I have some. I know they are nice people, but then I cannot stand the way people treat my belongings when I do share them, because I know I wouldn't do that to other people. To me, to be using other people's things is like asking for a favour. I wouldn't return a favour with crap like this. And if I borrow other people's things, I will always make sure it is still in good condition when I return to them.
If I could catch them one day and I can spare the time, I will have to talk to them about it.
Share house is to share rent, bills and housework. Sharing of other things are upon personal agreement. Most of the people I know told me that they share their kitchen utensils, however, it is either everyone chipped in a certain amount and bought them together; or everyone will each have had their own stuff and they will share amongst themselves. I think both sounds very fair to me. But for my case, it is one party trying to make full use of a seemingly 'public good' without contributing anything.
Sigh! I hate facing with problems like that.... First it was someone liking to know my whereabouts, then it's someone using your things as if it's theirs....... What am I supposed to do now???
1. Coming into the house with NO basic things such as cutleries, basic cooking utensils, bowls and plates.
Fine. You are a newbie. I forgive you.
2. Using your bowls/plates/cutleries/cooking utensils (let's name them kitchen utilities') at their own free will without asking the first time if it is alright to use, or at least ask who those things belongs to.
Fine. I have many to spare anyway. And I really did not mind sharing.
3. Oftentimes, kitchen utensils were used and not washed. Probably they will get washed eventually, between 1-3 days interval.
Fine. I don't make a massive hooha over such things because I am also lazy sometimes and leave things to wash the next day. Sometimes I help to wash them, if not, I just pretend I didnt see it.
4. They washed it, however, they are mostly NOT clean.
Fine. I'll just re-wash it when I use it.
5. You realize that they will NEVER go look for anything else that could be stored away (i.e. less frequently used) unless it's something more 'extraordinary' that they need other kind of 'kitchen utensils'. Meaning, they will simply use, re-use, AND re-use those on the dish rack, which unfortunately all belongs to ME.
Fine. I just have to find my own alternative.
6. Thinking all the above-mentioned could be temporary, however, after moving in for so long (at least half a year already!), they have never brought any of their own 'kitchen utensils' with them, nor buy new ones. When questioned, the reply I received was their stuff is still at their OLD house.
Now MY question is: why can't you bring them here?
Still Fine.
7. I do not know how expensive it could be to invest in a tumbler. I am very 'heng' they didn't use my tumbler (I'd have freaked out!) but they simply dumped their multiple toothbrushes and toothpaste into MY small basket in the bathroom, and when I took them out, they will simply put it back in again.....!! There are still so much empty space at the other side of the basin collecting dust, why can't they occupy that space?
And once again, they never asked if it is OK to use my space. I never did mind, but where are your manners???
Still fine...
8. When the rubbish bin is full, they NEVER throw them out. They pile on top of the 'peaking' mountain top, hoping that someone else will take them out 'on behalf of them'.
OK... I don't bring the rubbish down all the time either since I hardly ever throw anything in the kitchen bin (cuz I hardly cook or eat at home). I pity the other housemate who always does the take-out....
9. They slam doors all the time, at ALL times. I tried that out the other time, and it took me such a big effort to actually slam a door. Why waste so much energy to tell people you are trying to close the door???
And I was still cool about it.... I am a sound sleeper, fortunately.
And then, until these things made me snap...
10. THEY LOVE USING ALL MY CUPS AND LONG TEASPOONS AND IT HAS BEEN LIKE 10 YEARS SINCE I'VE LAST SEEN THEM!!!!!!
I have been missing my long teaspoon for a long time (I like to use long teaspoons as opposed to the usual short ones) and I have yet located it. I know who might be holding on to it though. I have to resort to stick up a note on the fridge door and my fingers are now crossed that it will be returned to me. What a futile way to still remain nice. I should have knocked on their door to ask instead!
And it's ALWAYS my cups they use! And they keep those cups until they are too dirty to be drank from then they will take it out to wash. However, when I want to use them, I often find (if they are still there for me) coffee and orange juice stains on them STILL!
11. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO LOCK A BLOODY DOOR WHEN THEY COME IN AND GO OUT. IT FREAKS THE CRAP OUT OF ME TO COME BACK HOME LATE AT NIGHT FINDING THE DOOR UNLOCKED. AND I HAVE ALREADY TOLD THEM SO MANY TIMES!!!! YOU NEED A KEY TO UNLOCK THE DOOR TO GET IN AND OUT. YOU ARE STILL HOLDING THE KEY WHEN YOU HAVE THE DOOR OPENED AND WHEN YOU CLOSE THE DOOR. THERE ARE NO EXTRA/DOUBLE ACTION NEEDED IN THIS PROCESS. IS IT AN EXTRA EFFORT TO LOCK THE DOOR AGAIN???
I just cannot understand why!
I have told them so many times verbally (and written reminders pasted beside the door lock) until I have to use "violence" to actually get them to lock the door (i.e. I came back one day finding the lock unlocked and I created a din late at night).
I am also suspecting they have been opening my cupboard and pinch some things in tiny quantities, but I know what I have and I can tell if someone has touched my things. Pity I have no evidence to show they did, therefore I cannot accuse anyone unless I have proof!
I am starting to keep some of the 'kitchen utensils' that belongs to me away. I know this seems like a very selfish act, but I am seriously being driven nuts because they either use and do not return, or they return but didn't wash them properly. I do not get a chance to even talk to them because I am always not home and they sleep early.
Sometimes I keep my temper down because when we do meet up and interact, they treat me pretty well too. Sometimes they share the food they cook, and insisted I have some. I know they are nice people, but then I cannot stand the way people treat my belongings when I do share them, because I know I wouldn't do that to other people. To me, to be using other people's things is like asking for a favour. I wouldn't return a favour with crap like this. And if I borrow other people's things, I will always make sure it is still in good condition when I return to them.
If I could catch them one day and I can spare the time, I will have to talk to them about it.
Share house is to share rent, bills and housework. Sharing of other things are upon personal agreement. Most of the people I know told me that they share their kitchen utensils, however, it is either everyone chipped in a certain amount and bought them together; or everyone will each have had their own stuff and they will share amongst themselves. I think both sounds very fair to me. But for my case, it is one party trying to make full use of a seemingly 'public good' without contributing anything.
Sigh! I hate facing with problems like that.... First it was someone liking to know my whereabouts, then it's someone using your things as if it's theirs....... What am I supposed to do now???
Comments
who ARE these people anyway? next time must firmly set ground rules ar. People always tend to assume, not to mention assume property.
i dunno why ppl dun feel pai seh always using other ppl's things. i do understand that guys prob don't own that much kitchen stuff, but since u are overseas living by urself u shld at least have SOMETHING! even if it's just ONE bowl, ONE mug, ONE spoon and ONE pair of chopsticks! isn't it? if they have had just that ONE of SOMETHING, i wouldn't have to be so pissed off already! <:(
sounds like someone is damnt frustrated and pissed of...
Cool down...