Stop envying,
Trust &
Believe only in yourself...
Words that I preached constantly to myself, but somehow, I am still feeling the insecurity in me.
I look at the people around me who plunged into a intangible web of love, only to see smiles depicting only of happiness, and tears signifying only of joy.
I look upon people around me as a reflection of myself, but I couldn't see any aspects in me.
I see people receiving the hugs and kisses they deserve, and all I could do is to envy them endlessly...
Truth is,
I am happy and I am blessed
But why are things just a constant variable?
Lessons learnt from previous experiences taught me: Never expect anything. Never hope. Never anticipate. Because if these lets you down, I am someone who falls head first on the concrete ground. The more you expect, the harder you fall.
I get perturbed reading stuff that I shouldn't read, and end up shaking. I get paranoid comparing the past and the present. I get thwarted when I hope things happen but they never did. I get the rush of envy when I see other people basking in the sun of love. I shook cuz I think and feel. I feel unsafe being afraid that I will lose my gift forever.
I trust. I appreciate. I care. I love. I understand. And I will nurture and treasure everything that has come my way. I am happy. I am blessed. I am satisfied (quite). And I am telling the truth. But I need to know the finishing line - where to stop having that level of optimistic outcome for everything in life. No identical twins are the same, least to say about other aspects in life. When will I fully learn that?
Clarice, you got to grow up already. Be stable, be more matured, and be calm.
Come what may...
Trust &
Believe only in yourself...
Words that I preached constantly to myself, but somehow, I am still feeling the insecurity in me.
I look at the people around me who plunged into a intangible web of love, only to see smiles depicting only of happiness, and tears signifying only of joy.
I look upon people around me as a reflection of myself, but I couldn't see any aspects in me.
I see people receiving the hugs and kisses they deserve, and all I could do is to envy them endlessly...
Truth is,
I am happy and I am blessed
But why are things just a constant variable?
Lessons learnt from previous experiences taught me: Never expect anything. Never hope. Never anticipate. Because if these lets you down, I am someone who falls head first on the concrete ground. The more you expect, the harder you fall.
I get perturbed reading stuff that I shouldn't read, and end up shaking. I get paranoid comparing the past and the present. I get thwarted when I hope things happen but they never did. I get the rush of envy when I see other people basking in the sun of love. I shook cuz I think and feel. I feel unsafe being afraid that I will lose my gift forever.
I trust. I appreciate. I care. I love. I understand. And I will nurture and treasure everything that has come my way. I am happy. I am blessed. I am satisfied (quite). And I am telling the truth. But I need to know the finishing line - where to stop having that level of optimistic outcome for everything in life. No identical twins are the same, least to say about other aspects in life. When will I fully learn that?
Clarice, you got to grow up already. Be stable, be more matured, and be calm.
Come what may...
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