Quarantined in the dark room

Being cruel to myself because I have to. I cannot afford to walk the same path as I did before because it will be too devastating. Before things get too serious I must pull myself back and "quarantine" myself. In that way, I will be able to save myself.

I think as I age my feelings and thinkings mature as well. I am able to handle what I wasn't able to before, a lot better. I hate going around in circles and dwell over one thing for too long. To be honest, I have a lot more things to do with very little time to be like this. 

A few simple questions answers it all:
1. Can I take it when that "scenario" happens? --- NO. So move on.
2. Will I be able to accept it when this other "scenario" happens? --- NO. So move on.
3. Am I thinking too much? I.e. Jumping to conclusions - YES. So stop doing that and move on!

And as I age I realise I keep things to myself more than I used to. I do not really know if the concepts of "bottling things up will make it worse", or "sharing with someone will make things better" are true anymore. I do not really need any emotional dependency because I found that I have already built this fortress around me and I stand tall and strong in it. Plus, what kind of advice can people give me? Most people tell me things I already know, or they will go on telling me about something they have experienced which is allegedly 100000x worse than me. Or compare their situation with me. I hate it when that happens - when I am telling you about my problems, but you associate that with your example and end up telling me YOUR story. That's worse than giving advice! So what am I supposed to do now? Do I comfort you instead? Do I still need comfort? 

Thus I have never told anyone about it... 

Saying that, it does not mean that I do not want to give a listening ear. Perhaps give me your cries when I am not already crying myself? I wouldn't do that to people who came to me to cry, and ended up wanting other people to comfort my troubles instead... Is that right? 



Anyway, another 2.5 weeks before I go away! I really can't wait. Work is suffocating, and I am getting edgy because I haven't been away all year! What has this travel bug been up to??