Active VS Passive

Such as: The boy kicked the ball. (active)

And: The ball was kicked by the boy. (passive)

I have received criticism on my writing, especially when I was trying to write a business report. Whilst I welcome criticisms because only then I can improve myself, however, I couldn't help but start to doubt my ability to write, as well as my proficiency in the English language.

I have learnt that it is always better to write in active form, rather than passive form. Especially so when you are writing a business report because active is always easier to understand. Even science reports are now better in the active form, when historically the passive form was recommended. I am so used to writing in passive form that I even used that in my reports! I tend to write "The AVE was achieved by exceeding its KPI" (which sounded wrong as well) instead of "The AVE achieved its KPI". 

I seem to have questions or problems understanding when it comes to Active VS Passive not just in English, but also for Korean. Last evening in Korean class, I asked our teacher a few grammar questions, and they were all related to active VS passive. Even our teacher realised that I am dubious over such grammar patterns... Recognising if the sentence is active or passive will help you use the right words. For example, 엘리베이터가 고장냈어요 means The elevator was broken by ME; and 엘리베이터를 고장났어요 means Someone broke the elevator. Some words, and some markers determine if the sentence is active or passive, or whether you are the doer, or someone else is. I was so confused after the class. Grammar has never been my forte, be it Korean, Chinese or English. I hate grammar! 

Just like prepositions in English. I get confused over some preposition at times. Especially so when I am now doubting my own ability, everything seem to come out wrong. I question every single word I use, the tense, prepositions, phrasing etc. Such low morale.... I am even reading Oxford English Guide for my own improvement. I need to think twice if I have used on instead of in, over instead of at, for instead of of..... so on and so forth... I never recall having to do that, but I may have used all the wrong prepositions. 

I used to grade myself highly because I thought my English is considered "not too bad" especially so I come from Singapore, and English is the first and official language in Singapore. But then now I realised, Singlish is probably the first language there, and whilst I admit there are of course Singaporeans who excel in English language, and know what proper English is, majority of us probably just think we are good at English, but in actual fact, we are not really. Sadly this applies to many English speaking families, as well as people who think they are good because they know heaps of vocabularies. Even English teachers make errors that they shouldn't be making! I spot errors in languages easily so I see lots of grammatical errors when I see their writing, and they are all self-acclaimed "I am good at English". So what does being good at English really mean in Singapore? If you look at the English language in England, America, Canada and Australia, where do we stand? 

Now I am beginning to understand why Singapore is not listed in one of the 7 countries that Korea and Japan recognise for their English teachers. I used to think that it is because we speak with an accent that is so not 'ang-moh'. It is not really because we are Asians teaching other Asians either. It is more because our English is definitely not up to that level yet. Now that I am working with a British manager, I started to realise how far behind my English actually is when he corrects my errors. He is by far, one of the BEST in English language, and has taught English in Spain and Germany when he was younger. Far better than Aussies. Aussies, unfortunately, can't even spell or use the right words at times (though still heaps better than Singaporeans!). Unfortunately, I still have a long way to go, and my English language is definitely not up to standard so I will need to put in lots of effort to improve myself.

I need an upgrade. In everything. Because I am just lacking. :(