Failed

Failed, yet again. I will never be the chosen one, nor will I ever be treated with affection. And even friendship, which is increasingly becoming as brittle as all other kinds of relationships, is also being risked as I avoid contact to heal and be stronger.

I acknowledge this as something I will never be able to achieve or even to wish for.

For the next few days I will need to drown myself with some alcohol. I will not permit myself to cry.  I will come back stronger.