Aftermath of an Erupted Volcano
Long time no blog, yet AGAIN. Sometimes I question myself on how I claim to absolutely love writing, yet I can't even manage my own blog. My hectic schedule has weaned its way into my hobby and blogging is made a lot less significant these days.
Towards the end of last month something hit me. I was easily irritable and nothing seems to be going right for me. Honestly, nothing is seriously wrong either, but because I have become a lot more sensitive than I usually am, I became really impatient and hot-tempered. Any small weeny little spark can ignite the bomb nestling inside me. I felt everyone belittles me. No one seemed to respect me. Plus, I am exhausted. All these factors eventually worsen and one fine day I erupted in the restaurant on a very busy night, and offended my senior. I received feedback that I was pretty scary that day. I didn't want to picture what I possibly looked like in my head.
Girls usually take things more personally than guys, so all my male colleagues were not affected by my eruption, and carried on being friendly with me as usual. They understood me because we've all known each other for a long time, and they know who I really am. However, I was quite disappointed with my senior, because I've known her for the longest period of time, and yet, she did not talk to me for a few days in a row, making me extremely guilty for having erupted. I reflected my behaviour at home, and true, I should've controlled my feelings a lot better and hold everything back even if it's difficult. I should have a higher EQ than that!
I took a step back and started talking to her and tried to iron things out. Honestly, I was a little dissatisfied with her with certain things she does at the restaurant, but I love her as a friend, and thus, I don't want to ruin our friendship because of work. It took her a few days to slowly come back to me, though she did admit that she felt I was unreasonable and immature to have done what I did. I didn't want to argue with her. I know I probably look on the bad side because I have displayed my feelings outright, and unfortunately that is what people see - you lose your top, you lose; you keep your cool, you win. I guess, it's a lesson learnt.
Things are OK now, but we are facing a serious shortage of staff now. 2 weeks ago, Fang had to leave us (temporarily) because her dad is sick and she has to fly back to Thailand urgently. Priscilla is flying back to Singapore for a week or so sometime today. Marie has already left. Violet is leaving for China for good next week. And it was Ryo's last day yesterday (Fri), and his leaving is a big devastation to all of us. He was such a big help, and a great conversationalist to everyone of us. And being extremely fluent in both English and Japanese helped a lot being a middle person between the bosses and the rest of us, and also between the staff members. And he is a dear friend especially to me. We hang out a lot, and I found huge comfort talking to him and I love talking to him because he is always very reasonable, unbiased, and he is very funny and the both of us click well when we joke. He will be off to London for 6 months on an exchange program, and after he comes back he will still continue his degree and try out other jobs. I am already missing him terribly now......
My senior and I were fretting over this issue these days because it looks like there will only be the two of us running the whole restaurant until the new staff are able to work more independently. And the bad news for me is that I will have to be taking up more teaching and coaching the new staff because Ryo is no longer around. I usually don't teach unless necessary because I don't like to teach. I lose confidence when I teach since I know I tend to talk too fast, and I suck at putting into words what I know and do. Plus I tend to use complex English (naturally, not on purpose) and not everyone's command in English is that strong. Sometimes I realized that having to use simple, baby-talk English is difficult for me! So I guess I got to think of strategies on how to be able to teach better and make sure everyone can follow me accurately.
New job at Millward Brown Precis has been going a OK so far, even though I have heaps to take in. In fact, I have been learning new skills on Microsoft Excel, and one of my managers (he's an expert) taught me all these skills in order to take me to the next level. Apparently I will be assisting in a lot of reporting as well as constructing charts, media influence index figures, looking up data etc, which all needs Excel to churn these results. It's an useful skill to pick up, but there are so many things for me to absorb my brain is almost going to explode. I know a fair bit of Excel but they are all pretty basic as compared to what I'm learning now. Things like constructing pivot tables, and the numerous shortcut keys - I am always accustomed to the right mouse click to navigate around; now I have shortcut keys! I don't even need to use my mouse anymore. Overwhelmed. So I got myself an Excel for Dummies book in case I need to refer to it.
The Precis team in the company only consists of me and my 2 managers. And we work autonomously. Even between us we do not talk a lot unless we have a question/problem. So basically I don't know anyone else in the office unless we meet in the kitchen. Other than Jess (the Korean analyst who was doing internship and has left since uni started), and Mellyza (a new Indonesian girl who is doing costing, replacing Bernadette) whom I hang out with during lunch time, I basically don't really know anyone else. OR I couldn't attach a name to their faces (whom we will say hi but nothing else). I wasn't formally introduced to everyone actually. Oh, and also Chris, the IT guy from Bulgaria. We realized that we stay pretty close to each other after taking the same route tram home.
Talking about farewells, 2 Sundays ago, we had a farewell for Marie. She's left for Japan by now, for good. I really liked Marie. Her performance at work wasn't that good, and she makes mistakes all the time, but it was her personality I liked. Other than friendliness, she has this 'can do, will do' attitude, and also being a kind and overall extremely pleasant. So despite that she gave us a bit of headache at work, I liked her. So even though the farewell was late at night after work, and I have to work in the morning the next day, I still attended her farewell at Chapellis (24 hour place) on Chapel street.
There will be another farewell next week for Violet and Ryo, and we are in the midst of deciding what to do. However, last night, since it was Ryo's last night, we went over to Giorgios after work to have a meal.
Tuesdays off these days, or so it seems... so I took the night meeting friends.
Also met with Daniel and Ai-lin for dinner at By Korea this Tuesday, but cuz it was supposed to be sort of a 'discreet meeting', we didn't take any photos.
And then during break time after Sunday's lunch shift, I went to "The Pour Kids" (my recent cafe discovery) with Jeremy for a cuppa... Love their latte art~
I am trying my best to control my temper. However, having erupted that day sort of released all the uneasiness and unhappiness bottling up inside me and I feel a lot better despite the damage I've done. Though I think the damage has more or less been repaired now..... I found myself even more lenient to the new staff (unless they did something without using their brain for the 10th time or something), and I laugh a lot more these days too. Hopefully, no more eruptions to come. I must remain calm! *deep breath!*
Towards the end of last month something hit me. I was easily irritable and nothing seems to be going right for me. Honestly, nothing is seriously wrong either, but because I have become a lot more sensitive than I usually am, I became really impatient and hot-tempered. Any small weeny little spark can ignite the bomb nestling inside me. I felt everyone belittles me. No one seemed to respect me. Plus, I am exhausted. All these factors eventually worsen and one fine day I erupted in the restaurant on a very busy night, and offended my senior. I received feedback that I was pretty scary that day. I didn't want to picture what I possibly looked like in my head.
Girls usually take things more personally than guys, so all my male colleagues were not affected by my eruption, and carried on being friendly with me as usual. They understood me because we've all known each other for a long time, and they know who I really am. However, I was quite disappointed with my senior, because I've known her for the longest period of time, and yet, she did not talk to me for a few days in a row, making me extremely guilty for having erupted. I reflected my behaviour at home, and true, I should've controlled my feelings a lot better and hold everything back even if it's difficult. I should have a higher EQ than that!
I took a step back and started talking to her and tried to iron things out. Honestly, I was a little dissatisfied with her with certain things she does at the restaurant, but I love her as a friend, and thus, I don't want to ruin our friendship because of work. It took her a few days to slowly come back to me, though she did admit that she felt I was unreasonable and immature to have done what I did. I didn't want to argue with her. I know I probably look on the bad side because I have displayed my feelings outright, and unfortunately that is what people see - you lose your top, you lose; you keep your cool, you win. I guess, it's a lesson learnt.
Things are OK now, but we are facing a serious shortage of staff now. 2 weeks ago, Fang had to leave us (temporarily) because her dad is sick and she has to fly back to Thailand urgently. Priscilla is flying back to Singapore for a week or so sometime today. Marie has already left. Violet is leaving for China for good next week. And it was Ryo's last day yesterday (Fri), and his leaving is a big devastation to all of us. He was such a big help, and a great conversationalist to everyone of us. And being extremely fluent in both English and Japanese helped a lot being a middle person between the bosses and the rest of us, and also between the staff members. And he is a dear friend especially to me. We hang out a lot, and I found huge comfort talking to him and I love talking to him because he is always very reasonable, unbiased, and he is very funny and the both of us click well when we joke. He will be off to London for 6 months on an exchange program, and after he comes back he will still continue his degree and try out other jobs. I am already missing him terribly now......
My senior and I were fretting over this issue these days because it looks like there will only be the two of us running the whole restaurant until the new staff are able to work more independently. And the bad news for me is that I will have to be taking up more teaching and coaching the new staff because Ryo is no longer around. I usually don't teach unless necessary because I don't like to teach. I lose confidence when I teach since I know I tend to talk too fast, and I suck at putting into words what I know and do. Plus I tend to use complex English (naturally, not on purpose) and not everyone's command in English is that strong. Sometimes I realized that having to use simple, baby-talk English is difficult for me! So I guess I got to think of strategies on how to be able to teach better and make sure everyone can follow me accurately.
New job at Millward Brown Precis has been going a OK so far, even though I have heaps to take in. In fact, I have been learning new skills on Microsoft Excel, and one of my managers (he's an expert) taught me all these skills in order to take me to the next level. Apparently I will be assisting in a lot of reporting as well as constructing charts, media influence index figures, looking up data etc, which all needs Excel to churn these results. It's an useful skill to pick up, but there are so many things for me to absorb my brain is almost going to explode. I know a fair bit of Excel but they are all pretty basic as compared to what I'm learning now. Things like constructing pivot tables, and the numerous shortcut keys - I am always accustomed to the right mouse click to navigate around; now I have shortcut keys! I don't even need to use my mouse anymore. Overwhelmed. So I got myself an Excel for Dummies book in case I need to refer to it.
The Precis team in the company only consists of me and my 2 managers. And we work autonomously. Even between us we do not talk a lot unless we have a question/problem. So basically I don't know anyone else in the office unless we meet in the kitchen. Other than Jess (the Korean analyst who was doing internship and has left since uni started), and Mellyza (a new Indonesian girl who is doing costing, replacing Bernadette) whom I hang out with during lunch time, I basically don't really know anyone else. OR I couldn't attach a name to their faces (whom we will say hi but nothing else). I wasn't formally introduced to everyone actually. Oh, and also Chris, the IT guy from Bulgaria. We realized that we stay pretty close to each other after taking the same route tram home.
Talking about farewells, 2 Sundays ago, we had a farewell for Marie. She's left for Japan by now, for good. I really liked Marie. Her performance at work wasn't that good, and she makes mistakes all the time, but it was her personality I liked. Other than friendliness, she has this 'can do, will do' attitude, and also being a kind and overall extremely pleasant. So despite that she gave us a bit of headache at work, I liked her. So even though the farewell was late at night after work, and I have to work in the morning the next day, I still attended her farewell at Chapellis (24 hour place) on Chapel street.
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| With Marie... As well as Jeremy and Ryo |
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| the other side of the table - with Violet, Priscilla and Chisato |
There will be another farewell next week for Violet and Ryo, and we are in the midst of deciding what to do. However, last night, since it was Ryo's last night, we went over to Giorgios after work to have a meal.
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| With Ryo, Benise and Violet |
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| Sigh... I will miss this little brother whom I talk to all the time! T.T |
Tuesdays off these days, or so it seems... so I took the night meeting friends.
 |
| Meeting with Shu Yea, and Yongshan for dinner at Oriental Spoon. And then desserts at 糖楼 after. |
Also met with Daniel and Ai-lin for dinner at By Korea this Tuesday, but cuz it was supposed to be sort of a 'discreet meeting', we didn't take any photos.
And then during break time after Sunday's lunch shift, I went to "The Pour Kids" (my recent cafe discovery) with Jeremy for a cuppa... Love their latte art~
 |
| When can I do these more complex ones?? I can usually only do the one heart-shape art. And on very rare occasion I managed a skewed looking leaf. But usually I am only able to do really abstract ones. |
I am trying my best to control my temper. However, having erupted that day sort of released all the uneasiness and unhappiness bottling up inside me and I feel a lot better despite the damage I've done. Though I think the damage has more or less been repaired now..... I found myself even more lenient to the new staff (unless they did something without using their brain for the 10th time or something), and I laugh a lot more these days too. Hopefully, no more eruptions to come. I must remain calm! *deep breath!*
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